But look at the good things King Saul is doing
This conversation may or may not have happened around 1020 BC.
“Hey, did you hear about King Saul?”
No, what?
“Samuel said he’s being removed as king.”
Wait, what? Why??
“Something about taking spoil from the Amalekites and sacrificing to the Lord.”
Huh? He’s being removed for that?? For wanting to honor the Lord after a great victory?? He’s a godly man who just keeps winning! That Samuel and his self-righteous, judgmental piety. He doesn’t know Saul’s heart!
What Saul has done for the nation is way more important than some personal mistake he made. Sure, nobody's perfect, but he’s fought our enemies on every side! He drove back the Philistines. He fought against Moab, against the people of Ammon, against Edom, against the kings of Zobah. He gathered an army and attacked the Amalekites, and delivered Israel from those who plundered us!* By any measure, he’s a success. He’s saving Israeli lives. He’s done everything we wanted him to do when we demanded a king. Win after win after win. He’s made Israel great again!
Would Samuel prefer the wicked sons of Eli? His own sons were far worse! Would he be happier with Israelites dying while losing to the Philistines and Amalekites? We’re surrounded by our enemies, and all he cares about is tall man bad. We wanted a king, not a priest!
“Actually, doing what only a priest can do is part of the prob—”
I don’t care! God personally chose Saul. That means if you say no to Saul, you’re saying no to God. You’re resisting what God is doing! Touch not the Lord’s anointed! (Hey, someone should write that down.)
Is this effective immediately?
“No, Saul’s still king for now.”
Good, I know he’ll finish well like the great leader that he is. He’ll take this standing up like a man. So, who’s going to be the next king?
“I dunno, but someone heard that Samuel was going to Bethlehem.”
Of course he goes to some tiny little dunghole in the middle of nowhere. Loser.
“Isn’t the king supposed to be from Judah anyway?”
Don’t Judah juke.
It better be someone big and strong like Saul. Someone tall enough to fit into Saul’s magnificent armor and throw his awesome spear. Someone who knows the power of horses and chariots. That’s how we’ll know he’s the Lord’s anointed. Hey, it should be Prince Jonathan! He knows how to fight. He’ll be loyal to his father.
But now that we know Samuel prefers losing, he’ll probably pick some ruddy shepherd boy, LOL.
* 1 Samuel 14:47-48
See also:
