How I discovered God’s will for my life

I know firsthand how stressful it can be to wonder whether a life decision you need to make is God’s will for you.

The two biggest decisions of my adult life — my marriage and my home — both involved the question of whether our choice (my wife and me) was what God wanted for us. When we were engaged, this issue caused mental anguish. When we moved to a new house a dozen years later, we were told we might be going against God’s will because several obstacles came up that jeopardized the process.

As someone who spent over a decade in the charismatic movement, I’ve been taught that Christians can discern God’s specific will for our lives through a variety of mystical means — signs, prophecy, dreams, voices, inner sensations, and more. I’ve known many people who have said “I felt like the Lord was telling me …” or something like that.

I’ve had impressions like that, but never without the accompanying question, how do I know it’s God communicating with me? For major decisions, I need to be sure. A subjective feeling that could be my own imagination isn’t good enough. I’ve heard horror stories of people who thought they were hearing from God but then made disastrous choices.

I’m sure many charismatics can offer answers to this question. There are books and courses on how to discern the Lord’s voice — some of them upwards of hundreds of dollars. But you know where I can’t learn what the Lord’s voice sounds like? The Bible.

Of course, the Scriptures contain many stories of God speaking to people, but none of them tell us what it felt or sounded like so that we’ll know when it happens to us. Don’t you think that His word would address something so monumentally important as how to sense when it’s God who’s speaking?

The people who heard from God apparently just knew. His communication must have been so clear and unmistakable that there was no question in their minds. Nothing in the Bible suggests it was vague or muffled or nebulous. God doesn’t whisper — the title of a book I highly recommend on this topic. The consistent Biblical teaching and example is that when God wants us to hear and understand Him, He sees to it that we do. In Matthew 13:11 and Luke 10:21-22, Jesus teaches that God reveals and conceals what He wants to whom He wants. He is sovereign over both ends of His communication.

Therefore, if you’re not sure that God has spoken to you, then He hasn’t.

Does this mean God doesn’t guide us in decisions that shape the course of our lives? Is there no way we can know what He wants us to do, outside the explicit instructions of Scripture? What is God’s will for our lives??

The Bible does give a straightforward answer to that. Paul writes in 1 Thessalonians 4:3, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification.” He goes on to list practical applications of that, such as sexual and financial morality, and sums up in verse 7: “For God did not call us to uncleanness, but in holiness.” The words for sanctification and holiness are the same in Greek; they mean to be consecrated and set apart unto God so that our character reflects His. Other Scriptures that tell us God’s will for our lives include Ephesians 5:15-20 and the familiar Micah 6:8 —

He has shown you, O man, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justly,
To love mercy,
And to walk humbly with your God?

But those are character traits; how does that help us when we have to decide something that’s not covered in Scripture, like whether to buy a new home? Since my charismatic brethren lean so heavily on their experiences, I’ll use my own to answer that. The obstacles and delays we ran into helped us grow in patience and grace. They drew us closer to the Lord because we were completely dependent on Him. The difficulties sanctified us. That was God’s will. I can joyfully say the same thing about our marriage, which is the best decision we ever made, even though God never told us it was what He specifically wanted.

I found in those situations that God’s will for us is more in the process than in the outcome. He cares more about what’s in us than what house we’re in. He wants us to be obedient to what He has revealed in Scripture, and be thankful (Ephesians 5:20, 1 Thessalonians 5:18). If we do that, whatever course we take will be blessed. If He wants us to take a certain path, He’ll bring it about and guide us through Scripture, wisdom, counsel, and providence — His sovereign orchestration of all things. That’s the most pertinent thing the Bible says about God’s will:

In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will, that we who first trusted in Christ should be to the praise of His glory. (Ephesians 1:11-12).

Above all, God wants what glorifies Him the most. That may mean things won’t go smoothly for us, but through that, He’ll make us holy as He is holy. In the end, we’ll glorify Him for His mercy, comfort, and faithfulness; for being with us as He promised; and for — Romans 8:28 — working all things together for our good and His purpose.